1/30 (day 50)

50 days into deployment. S & i went through some rough days this past week, but thankfully we seem to have rebounded well. distance and deployment are hard, and anyone who tells you it isn’t is crazy. its lame like 99.9% of the time. the other .1% of the time the only reason i am glad he’s not home because the house isn’t in order all the way from moving and i want it to be done before he gets back LOL

all i can do is imagine the day he comes home, the day i bring him to our house, the day we get married. it all seems so out of reach, but its all i think about… its a daydream that lives in the back of my mind constantly. 50 days seems so small in comparison with how long we have to go, but it seems like a big chunk as well. i’ve started taking it one week at a time. sunday to sunday. the hardest part of each day is night. after M goes to bed and i’m just here by myself. i’m sure everyone feels that way though. thank the lord we have TV now. 

i just need him home. i just need OUR lives to be in the same world, the same house, the same bed. 

my house makes scary noises at night and it makes me miss S all the more.  i just want him back.. going to bed now because i’m having minor heart attacks & feel like curling in a ball. 

i have 2 small children to watch today AND work. one of the small children being mine LOL. the other is a good deed, because i’m up at 6am to watch her until like 12ish >.< but i think she’s asleep on the couch, so thats awesome. 

Still waiting to here if we got approved for our apartment. Should know by tomorrow I hope! In other news I feel like my head is about to explode and I got dropped from one of my classes. I’m going to rip my hair out I swear. If it’s not one thing it’s another -.-

i’m going to look at an apartment today. i was supposed to go yesterday but there was a tornado warning -___- oh well, today it is. i’m so excited. i rode by like 6 times so far, and once at night last night (saturday) to see if there was anything sketchy going on. its right down the road from where i live now, so i’m hopeful that it will be similar. i also talked to 4 people total about wether they liked living there or not, and if they thought it was safe. and they all sounded pretty positive, i guess as positive as i could hope for in this town. LMAO. 

so as long as we can get approved for it, i’m pretty set on this one! its so close to everything, and on the 3rd floor, so thats awesome too. i also researched the company that i would be renting through and it didn’t have a lot of reviews but the once i saw were really good! 

crossing my fingers! did i forget anything?? or anything i should specifically ask the realtor about??